Let's Embarrass Shino
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Series of oneshots where to focal point of the humor is Shino. Will get better...holiday hangover right now. Rated because of Shibi's sense of humor.
1. Chapter 1

Let's Embarrass Shino!

Team 8 had a day off, and Kiba decided it would be an awesome idea for them to "bond" at the carnival. They walked around for a while, Kiba and Akamaru sharing a chili dog and Shino and Hinata sharing a giant pink stick of cotton candy. They all turned the corner to see a man in a muffin costume, handing out blueberry muffins to all the little children and singing the muffin man song with them.

As they passed, the man in the giant muffing costume saw them.

"HEY Shino! Aren't you gonna say hi to your old man?"

Cue close up of shocked and embarrassed face. Hinata giggled furiously and Kiba burst out laughing. Shibi. In the muffin costume, came up to Shino and offered him a muffin.

"Do YOU know the muffin man?"


	2. Chapter 2

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!"

Konoha stopped dead in its tracks when a certain bug-boy's voice rang through the streets. Lady Tsunade was rubbing her ear, slightly deafened by the outburst. Shino stood there, holding the costume, in total disbelief.

"You did ask for a solo B-rank mission. It was the only thing available."

Shino whimpered slightly, but then resumed his usually cool demeanor.

"Y-yes, Lady Hokage."

Shino folded the costume over his arm, taking the costume makeup and spray-on hair color. He internally cursed the Hokage, but, he was getting paid good money…so….

Shino got on-site, and went into the changing room. Changing into the outfit, he covered his skin with the orange makeup. Going to the mirror, he took his glasses off, grimaced, and sprayed the green hair color. When his 'fro was completely green, he replaced his glasses, and looked at his attire. He nearly cried. Sighing, he pulled up his striped stockings and stepped into the world, grimacing as he saw the other chuunin, as well as Naruto. Kiba burst out laughing, and then, once recognition hit, the rest of them did, too.

Ignoring them, he joined the procession. He bent his knees, bobbing up and down, hating every moment.

"Oompa Loompa…"


	3. Chapter 3

Shino and Kiba were walking together through the busy market after dropping Hinata off. Akamaru walked along, too big for his own good. Shino wore his hood down. Kiba was humming the tune to "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog," and Shino was doing his best to tune him out as they passed the people. Oh, how he hated that song.

Suddenly, Kiba got _that_ look, and grabbed Shino's arm, stopping him. The flow of people parted and went around them.

"Kiba? What are you doing?" Shino asked.

Kiba cleared his throat, smile spreading across his face.

"Shi-i-no-o is a bug man, is a good fuh-reind of mine…"

"Oh HELL no…" Shino said.

A couple of passersby stopped walking. Kiba ignored and kept singing, letting go of Shino. Akamaru circled him so he didn't escape.

"I never understood what the hell he meant, but I helped him learn to smile!"

"Kiba…"

"And he always does make me smile! Singin'…"

Kiba danced around Shino like a totem pole.

"Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the kikaichu and all the fleas, joy to Shino the tree."

Shino's face went beet red. But was Kiba done? No…not by a long shot. Akamaru grabbed the back of Shino's black shirt when he went to leave. A small group of people were gathered around already.

"If I were king of the world, tell you what I'd do. I'd throw away the traps and sprays and the…"

Kiba paused, face going blank for a moment. But then he started right back up.

"Bug-killing things…"

At this point Kiba slung his arm around Shino's shoulders, poking him in the chest with the other hand.

"Make suh-weet love to you…"

He disappeared before Shino's fist connected with his thick skull. As he was running, the good-sized crowd laughed. He came back quickly, though, Akamaru held a good grip and Shino wasn't about to rip his shirt.

"Joy to the world, all the bugs and girls, joy to the kikaichu and huh-nay bees, joy to me and the tre--Shino."

"KIBA!!" Shino's face was steadily paling as pure anger set in. Insects started to crawl out of his skin, crawling around under his sleeves. Ignoring him, Kiba went on, dancing with random spectators.

"You know Shino loves the insects, and loves to have his fun…_with them.."_ He muttered the last bit but Shino heard.

He winked at Shino during the next part. "He's a butterflyer and a rainbow-rider, a straight faced son-of-a-bug."

Shino lunged at Kiba, fabric tearing slightly around Akamaru's teeth. Kiba danced out of the way and belted out at the top of his lungs (out of tune, I might add)

"I SAID A STRAIGHT-FACED SON-OF-A-BUUUUUG!!!"

"ENOUGH, INUZUKA!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kiba skipped over and pinched his cheek, and was rewarded with a snarl. He tapped Shino's sunglasses and bounced out of arm's reach. Some insects were visible now, crawling on the sleeves of his jacket and all over his fingers.

"Joy to the girl! He loves the boys, not the girls! Joy to the ladies hiding in the trees, because he's busy flirting with me!"

Shino's face went from pale to red again, and he unleashed his insects, unable to hold back anymore. Oblivious, Kiba kept singing.

"Joy to the world! All the bugs in the world! Joy to the bugs that are surrounding…….me…Joy to you and…SHIT!!!!"

Kiba took off, and Akamaru chomped tighter, grabbing a good mouthful of the green hoodie, too. Kiba hid in the bushes, stage-whispering.

"Joy to the world, joy to all the worms and the….uh…buggies. Joy to the whole wide world, joy to the kikai and fleas."

He then hopped out of the bushes, running up the side and standing on top of a flagpole, entire marketplace dad silent as they watched the procession.

"JOY TO THE WORLD! ALL THE BUGS IN TH THE WOOOOORLD NOW! JOY TO THE KIKAI AND AKAMARU'S FLEAS….BEECUH-UHZ SHINO-S A TREE!"

He jumped high into the air, somersaulting at his peak and coming back down, singing the next verse while in the air.

"Joy to the world, all the boys and girls…_who like bugs…_Joy to the butterflies and huh-nay bees, joy to Hinata and me."

He paused as he hit the ground, adding an extra line.

"Because we are fuh-reinds with a tree."

The insects that Shino released were buzzing around him, and the crowd was giving him a wide berth. Kiba slowly made his way back to Shino, ignoring the kikai.

"I wanna tell him, Smiiiile to the world! To aaaaall the boys and girls!"

He jumped on Akamaru, who was behind Shino, and grabbed his face, pulling his lips into a smile.

"Smile to the kikai and all the kids!!!"

Shino responded by biting both fingers. He tasted blood. Kiba jumped of and growled.

"Because at least YOU don't have fucking fleas!"

At that he punched Shino. More ripping fabric could be heard as Shino attempted to strangle Kiba.

"Insect summoning jutsu…" Shino whispered under his breath.

"JOY for the bugs! Shino gives them kisses and hugs! Joy to the killer wasp and all…the…bees?"

A sick buzzing could be heard, and bees, wasps, and hornets came from all directions, swarming around Kiba.

"P-Please Shino don't let them kill me…" He tacked on another line. "You know that I was only kidding!"

A large ripping sound, and Shino was free. Akamaru stood with large pieces of Shino's shirt and jacket hanging from his jaws. Shino brought his arms up, and the crowd backed away. He brought them down and together, and the large swarm congealed over Kiba, stinging him. Kiba took off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH HELP ME WORLD! SHINO'S GONNA MAKE ME A GIRL!!!!!!"

"That dog…is a son-of-a-bitch."

**While I originally came up with the idea, credit goes to KatSin for switching up the lyrics.**


	4. Chapter 4

Shino grabbed a towel to get ready to take a shower. He was still slightly mortified over last week's mishap with Kiba. No matter. Not like it would happen again. Nobody was home, so it would be safe to say he could do one of his favorite shower pastimes….no….not play with his rubber ducky.

SING!!

Starting the water to heat up, he opened the high window so the steam could get out. After putting his clothes into the hamper, he slung the towel over the curtain rod and cleared his throat for water karaoke time.

-

Kiba and Hinata were on their way to Shino's house for a mission that Lady Tsunade had sent them on. As they entered the compound. Kiba was the first to hear it, faintly at first.

"I like big bugs and I cannot lie. All you Aburames can't deny, that when a bug walks in with it's itty bitty eyes…"

Kiba stopped dead in his tracks, but Hinata dismissed it and continued. That's when she got in earshot of the sounds coming through Shino's window.

"Round body the right size you get sprung. Wanna get your net 'cuz you know that she's all pure het."

Hinata, too, stopped dead in her tracks. The two shared a look and ran to Shino's house, the direction of the sound apparently coming from the second story window. Random Aburames were already gathered at the disturbance, Shino's father included, stifling laughter.

-

Shino rinsed the shampoo from his hair, and held one hand up to his mouth holding an invisible microphone.

"Deep color that she's wearing! I'm hooked and I can't stop staring! Oh, buggy I wanna get ya, document and snap yo pictcha!"

Rinsing the rest of the soap off, he turned off the water, rubbed his hair down, and tied the towel around his waist, getting out and going disco.

"My hunnybees tried to warn me but that bug you got…"

-

Kiba crawled up the side of the wall to get a look. He had no idea that was the bathroom.

-

"Make me so horny, ooh, such a smooth shell…"

Shino took off the towel and began to get dressed, pausing only when he heard a loud _thump_ outside his window. Dismissing it, he continued.

"You say you wanna get 'er as well. Well you CAN'T cuz she ain't your average buggy!"

-

Kiba's face was indiscernible when he fell backwards off the wall, eyes like spirals. Hinata ran to see if he was alright; he had landed flat on his back.

"Kami…"

-

Shino slid his green hoodie on finally, a new one that Akamaru hadn't chomped, and left the bathroom, slipping on his goggles. Fortunately for the large crowd outside, the other windows of the house were open, too.

"I've seen them dancin'! To hell with romancin'! She's small, crawls, dances to the rock and rawl!"

He did an imitation of Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing, sliding down the hallway, And dancing in the living room, oblivious to all the people watching him from the windows.

"I'm tired of magazines saying kikaichu aren't the thing. Take an Aburame and ask him that…"

He grabbed his sack and attacked it to the back of his hoodie, kikai flying from who-knows-where and filling it up.

"She gotta pack his sack."

-

The Aburame compound was in tears. That part of the village was so dead silent that some of the other rookies, no longer rookies, came over to see what was going on.

-

Smirking, Shino grabbed a pair of headband antennae and put them on, bobbing around his living room.

"So Fellas! YEAH! Fellas! YEAH! Has your insect got the flair? HELL YEAH! Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy pair!"

When he said pair, he shook his head, causing the antennae he was referring to fly off. He jumped into his sandals and burst through the front door.

"Buggy got BACK!!"

-

Dead silence. The best way to describe it. Most of Konoha was now congealed into the Aburame Compound.

Shino opened his eyes, and he turned blue. Everyone's eyes were trained on him. He heard a wolf whistle, and turned to see his father. He abruptly turned his heel, went back into the house, and slammed the door behind him, locking every available opening into the house.

The compound erupted into laughter.

If what Kiba had done wasn't bad enough, this topped the cake.

Shino went into his room and stayed there the whole night, ignoring the pleas of his father for admittance into the house. He got up and locked his door when he heard the window smash.

He was unable to look anybody in the eye for a while.

**Man, you gotta love me. Poor, poor Shino.**


End file.
